Menopause Musings

I’ve been right smack dab in the middle of menopause for a while now. I’m constantly declaring to anyone who’ll listen just how “hot” I am. No, not sexy hot. Hot! Scorching, melting, boiling hot! Lava cools faster than I do! I wake up hot, I go to sleep hot, shop hot, eat hot and float on a lazy river hot! In addition to the constant desire to rip all of my clothes off and stand in a meat locker, I also deal with an intermittent vanishing memory. What? What was I writing about? Oh, yes, the memory thing. You see, just like Santa, I’ve taken to making lists. I’m constantly making lists. Things to do lists, things to buy lists, things to look up lists, lists to remind me to read the lists! Where did I put my pen? I need to add something to my list.
Menopause, ah, there are so many things to add to this glorious undertaking of women past their child bearing years. Things that were once pointing north now declare the exact location of the South Pole. What was once tight and tone is now and squishy and soft. Muffin top syndrome sets in. That roll that has developed around your mid section and peaks out from the top of every skirt or pair of pants you wear. Yes, "menopause middle" is what I call it, and no amount of crunches can remove it. It’s destined to plop right back in your mid section as a badge of honor amongst the menopause inflicted and the menopause survivors. So, I say, don’t fight it, embrace it! Embrace it with an ice pack, a smile, several note pads and a handful of pens. Wear as few clothes as possible whenever you’re able and keep telling the world how hot you are. No need to let them know you're talking about your temperature, right?
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Karen Zemek, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

I enjoyed reading this because I can relate. I am just entering this stage and have mixed feelings about it. I was always a list person anyway, so that part shouldn't be too hard to deal with. I also like being warm rather than cold so I'm pretty sure the hot flashes won't bother me too much.

5erg said...

REally amusing post to read :D
thanks for blogging!
hehe :D